Bright Future Workshops

September 13, 2011 under Blog

Hi there

 

I will be starting a complimentary workshop very soon for women who’d like some support in times of separation and divorce.

 

The workshop will be for an hour and a half and the topics will vary from what to do, where to receive support, property settlement and looking towards building a Bright Future.

 

The Workshops will be interactive and of a positive nature.

 

They will be held both in Brisbane and the Gold Coast (and later by webinars).

 

I’d love some feedback from you regarding times. What time would suit you best, during the week or Saturday? What time would suit you best?

 

Look forward to hearing from you soon with your suggestions/feedback.

 

Annette

comments: 0 » tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Can Marriage drive you Mental? Separated or Divorced? Read on…

December 17, 2011 under Blog

Yes, I hear you say as someone that is either separated or divorced!

Marriage CAN and it DOES! You would be correct according to a Professor of Psychiatry in Canada!

Now I don’t want to preach to the converted here, just report what the Prof’s findings are…

Having a healthy mindset after being separated or divorced is one of the reasons I have dedicated the second part of my book to this issue. From it's title "The Separated Woman's Guide to a Bright Future" lets you know where the focus of the books points towards. It also addresses all the issues mentioned in this article.

What leads to being separated or divorced, from a psychological perspective?

The Prof is not meaning in the sense of a catch cry of (you, this relationship, the kids, it, etc,) drive me crazy” what he is saying is, if a person is pre-disposed to mental illness then it can rear it’s ugly head because of the stresses in marriage and in life in general.

Let’s face it we live in stressful times at the moment with the reported state of affairs all over the globe.

Apparently we are also less tolerant of each other too which contributes to the escalating number of people becoming separated or divorced worldwide.

Psychologically, the Prof reports it is virtual impossible for two people to live in complete harmony until death us do part, nothing new here, I'm sure we both agree with him on this point!

He goes on to say that conflict results in having differing personality types and traits, which leads to a variety of emotions which is where there can be a complete mismatch and zero tolerance.

This then leads to unhappy marriages, drug and alcohol abuse, physical illnesses and in some cases even suicide.

So we move on to being separated or divorced to relieve the stress, which, if you have separated from a long term relationship (who hasn’t?) can lead to lots MORE stress that also complicate issues of mental illness even further!

There is evidence from researchers that being separated or divorced have higher rates of mental disorders than people who are married.

Neglected children fair worse mentally among separated or divorced parents, twice as much according to the Prof.

Children that are a part of a happy family through a happily married Mum and Dad fair much better academically and socially.

So are we better off to stay single rather than risking being separated or divorced?

Not necessarily, and it appears that there is no correct answer to his question, rather that is far too complex for a clear answer.

This has to do with the “right age” to marry. For women this ranges from 18-22 years and for men 25-28 years.

“Right age” in the sense of fertility time frame for both sexes. It’s reported that after 40 women are more susceptible on the whole to psychological problems, depression in particular leading to emotional and social complications.

Men don’t escape psychologically either, masking depression and men can turn to substance abuse too.

Yes marriage can be stressful, however, if both partners are compatible in their values and personality attributes this benefits the marriage greatly as a bond is formed protecting the couple from negative psychological issues.

The flip side of this is the couple who are incompatible whether through personality incompatibility or environmental issues, The Prof concurs incompatibility can and will lead to psychological disorders.

Being single doesn’t guarantee immunity either…

Can we avoid becoming separated or divorced?

The simple answer is yes.

There are many options the safe option being, address any personality issues, learn how to increase tolerance and I hasten to add, compromise, also identify and focus on your good personality traits and continue to improve them.

The Prof then recommends that doing so will enable people to marry, so they can then live “happily ever after”!

What do you think? Is this possible or just a fairytale?

 

 

comments: 0 » tags: , ,

Discipline

September 13, 2011 under Blog

“Doing what you have to do, when you have to do it, whether you like it or not”

Annette Jones

So you have made your decision, have your list of goals and it’s now some time has passed? Are you still on track?

Are you still as passionate about having those things in your life?

Are you still as passionate about taking the action that you know you have to take daily to move towards those goals?

Many people make weight loss a goal, for example, as I did when I separated.

 

Sometimes it’s not as easy as we first thought, e.g. getting out of bed during winter at 5/6 am in the morning can put you to the test can’t it? I’m sure you have an experience where you may have given up and thought ah well there is always next time. Or for you was it just a natural progression of doing a little less every day until no action was taking place at all?

Developing self discipline is the key.

“Do what you have to do, when you have to do it, whether you like it or not”

I don’t particularly like the word “discipline” as it conjures up rules, regulations and strict time limits in my mind. I prefer the word “Freedom” which then motivates me to have “Discipline”. Let me explain…

 
We can help ourselves out when it comes to achieving a goal we want, but sometimes dislike the discipline that comes with it. Of course there is that great question “Is your Why strong enough?” But sometimes that isn’t enough…

But!
We can stack the deck…

What do I mean by that?

OK so you have made a goal of wanting to lose a dress size, loose a couple of Kg’s, body fat or whatever it is for you.

You are eating healthy foods but it’s the getting up and going for a walk or doing some form of exercise that needs the discipline.

And we all know that exercise benefits us in so many ways.

The night before decide what you will wear, leave them where you can see them when you wake up and have your socks and runners there too, together with your ipod if you like. Decide on the time you will wake and set an alarm if you have to.

Just before you drop off to sleep imagine getting out of bed as soon as you wake or the alarm wakes you, putting your clothes and runners on, plugging your ipod in, walking to the front door and opening it and then you’re off!. Do this twice more.

Do this every night for 21 nights running (pardon the pun!) and you have created a new habit!

How can you use this process in other areas of your life?

Have you done this process before and it has worked for you?

Share a comment below too, it just might help somebody else!

comments: 0 » tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Effective Communication

September 13, 2011 under Blog

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” Anthony Robbins

 

What does effective Communication mean to you?

I don't know about you but there have been times in my relationships when what I am saying (or what I THINK I am saying) isn't being understood by my partner! I'll say one thing and he will think I meant something totally unrelated! It can be frustrating sometimes!

When commuicate we do so on many levels.

There is verbal communication which only makes up 7% of the total amount in the communication pie. I was surprised when I learnt this, as being an extravert a tend to talk alot! :)

Other forms of communication include audio or hearing, tonality in our voice and of course the old favourite body lanugage or physiology.

We've all walked into a room where an argument has just taken place and there is no verbal communication taking place but you are positive that something has just happened, you can actually "feel" the tension in the room, hence the saying "You could have cut the air with a knife!" which is often heard.

When we communicate there is alot more going on than mere words. Listening, as we have discussed, is also going on, or at least you would hope it is! (Although I'd questions that if there are any kind of sport on the T.V.!) The expression on the person face, the tone of their voice the way they are sitting or standing as you can see there are many ways we communicate.

What determines our style of Effective Communication?

When we hear a statement or have questions directed at us, we filter the meaning of the words and message according to our values, or what is important to us. This is why clear effective communication works wonders. Say what you mean and mean what you say, with no room for mixed messages or assumptions.

Sometimes when we communicate with someone else we assume the other person knows we are on the same track, that they are privy to our thoughts or our meanings that we are trying to convey. This is not always the case and I am sure you can think of an instance where you have been either the giver or receiver of mixed communication.

When communicating it works wonders if you are concise, clear in your meaning with no room for confusion or ambiguity. This can be applied to all areas of your life when communicating with others, with your children, your girlfriends, work colleagues or former partner.

This is especially effective when you are negotiating and when you are separating and divorcing there are a tremedous amounts of time spent negotiating. Negotiating property and pesonal effects, visitation rights, appointments, weekend visits, rosters and no doubt you will have your own list that adds to this.

Remember that saying when you assume the other person knows what you are saying or knows what you mean then you make an ass-out of-u-and-me.

Alan Alda sums this up beautifully,

“Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.”

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Fear

September 13, 2011 under Blog
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Fear is a funny thing as it can either stop us in our tracks (to separate or not to separate) or spur us on to bigger and greater things that we want to achieve in life. It can also help protect us too.

When we fear a thing but know that we simply have to or must do that thing then we rely on courage to push us ahead, to take the next steps in moving close to that thing we want. Sometimes we just have to bite the bullet, take a deep breath and move ahead.

One way to overcome fear is to imagine the whole scenario taking place exactly the way you want to, as if you are watching a movie. In fact you already know how to do this anyway or you wouldn’t have the fear in the 1st place.

Did you know that you’ve already run the movie a certain way that's why you are feeling a little scared! So back up a few paces and take control of your thoughts and play out the movie with the outcome you want to happen.

It could be that you have an important job interview coming up and you are fearful of being interviewed, put under the spotlight so to speak. Run the whole scenario through your mind from waking in the morning getting ready for the interview, traveling to the interview, entering the building where the interview will take place and even perhaps sitting in the reception area waiting to go in.

See yourself walking into the interview and notice how calm you are feeling and your concise and accurate answers to the questions the interviewer asks you. See yourself asking questions, winding up the interview and walking from the room feeling great, knowing that you gave it your best shot and how confident you feel that you will get the job.

You could even take it a step further and see yourself answering your phone with the caller letting you know the exciting news that you got the job!

Run this little exercise every morning just after you wake and every night just before you sleep. When you focus on what you do want and not on what you don’t want, what happens? Remember, whatever you focus on manifests in your life.

Fear? What fear?

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Can Marriage drive you Mental? Separated or Divorced? Read on…

December 17, 2011 under Blog
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Fear is a funny thing as it can either stop us in our tracks (to separate or not to separate) or spur us on to bigger and greater things that we want to achieve in life. It can also help protect us too.

When we fear a thing but know that we simply have to or must do that thing then we rely on courage to push us ahead, to take the next steps in moving close to that thing we want. Sometimes we just have to bite the bullet, take a deep breath and move ahead.

One way to overcome fear is to imagine the whole scenario taking place exactly the way you want to, as if you are watching a movie. In fact you already know how to do this anyway or you wouldn’t have the fear in the 1st place.

Did you know that you’ve already run the movie a certain way that's why you are feeling a little scared! So back up a few paces and take control of your thoughts and play out the movie with the outcome you want to happen.

It could be that you have an important job interview coming up and you are fearful of being interviewed, put under the spotlight so to speak. Run the whole scenario through your mind from waking in the morning getting ready for the interview, traveling to the interview, entering the building where the interview will take place and even perhaps sitting in the reception area waiting to go in.

See yourself walking into the interview and notice how calm you are feeling and your concise and accurate answers to the questions the interviewer asks you. See yourself asking questions, winding up the interview and walking from the room feeling great, knowing that you gave it your best shot and how confident you feel that you will get the job.

You could even take it a step further and see yourself answering your phone with the caller letting you know the exciting news that you got the job!

Run this little exercise every morning just after you wake and every night just before you sleep. When you focus on what you do want and not on what you don’t want, what happens? Remember, whatever you focus on manifests in your life.

Fear? What fear?

comments: 0 » tags: , ,

Separation & Divorce and the Effects on Women

October 22, 2011 under Blog
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Fear is a funny thing as it can either stop us in our tracks (to separate or not to separate) or spur us on to bigger and greater things that we want to achieve in life. It can also help protect us too.

When we fear a thing but know that we simply have to or must do that thing then we rely on courage to push us ahead, to take the next steps in moving close to that thing we want. Sometimes we just have to bite the bullet, take a deep breath and move ahead.

One way to overcome fear is to imagine the whole scenario taking place exactly the way you want to, as if you are watching a movie. In fact you already know how to do this anyway or you wouldn’t have the fear in the 1st place.

Did you know that you’ve already run the movie a certain way that's why you are feeling a little scared! So back up a few paces and take control of your thoughts and play out the movie with the outcome you want to happen.

It could be that you have an important job interview coming up and you are fearful of being interviewed, put under the spotlight so to speak. Run the whole scenario through your mind from waking in the morning getting ready for the interview, traveling to the interview, entering the building where the interview will take place and even perhaps sitting in the reception area waiting to go in.

See yourself walking into the interview and notice how calm you are feeling and your concise and accurate answers to the questions the interviewer asks you. See yourself asking questions, winding up the interview and walking from the room feeling great, knowing that you gave it your best shot and how confident you feel that you will get the job.

You could even take it a step further and see yourself answering your phone with the caller letting you know the exciting news that you got the job!

Run this little exercise every morning just after you wake and every night just before you sleep. When you focus on what you do want and not on what you don’t want, what happens? Remember, whatever you focus on manifests in your life.

Fear? What fear?

comments: 0 » tags: , , , ,

I wish I’d watched less TV

September 13, 2011 under Blog
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Fear is a funny thing as it can either stop us in our tracks (to separate or not to separate) or spur us on to bigger and greater things that we want to achieve in life. It can also help protect us too.

When we fear a thing but know that we simply have to or must do that thing then we rely on courage to push us ahead, to take the next steps in moving close to that thing we want. Sometimes we just have to bite the bullet, take a deep breath and move ahead.

One way to overcome fear is to imagine the whole scenario taking place exactly the way you want to, as if you are watching a movie. In fact you already know how to do this anyway or you wouldn’t have the fear in the 1st place.

Did you know that you’ve already run the movie a certain way that's why you are feeling a little scared! So back up a few paces and take control of your thoughts and play out the movie with the outcome you want to happen.

It could be that you have an important job interview coming up and you are fearful of being interviewed, put under the spotlight so to speak. Run the whole scenario through your mind from waking in the morning getting ready for the interview, traveling to the interview, entering the building where the interview will take place and even perhaps sitting in the reception area waiting to go in.

See yourself walking into the interview and notice how calm you are feeling and your concise and accurate answers to the questions the interviewer asks you. See yourself asking questions, winding up the interview and walking from the room feeling great, knowing that you gave it your best shot and how confident you feel that you will get the job.

You could even take it a step further and see yourself answering your phone with the caller letting you know the exciting news that you got the job!

Run this little exercise every morning just after you wake and every night just before you sleep. When you focus on what you do want and not on what you don’t want, what happens? Remember, whatever you focus on manifests in your life.

Fear? What fear?

comments: 0 » tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Fear

September 13, 2011 under Blog
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

Fear is a funny thing as it can either stop us in our tracks (to separate or not to separate) or spur us on to bigger and greater things that we want to achieve in life. It can also help protect us too.

When we fear a thing but know that we simply have to or must do that thing then we rely on courage to push us ahead, to take the next steps in moving close to that thing we want. Sometimes we just have to bite the bullet, take a deep breath and move ahead.

One way to overcome fear is to imagine the whole scenario taking place exactly the way you want to, as if you are watching a movie. In fact you already know how to do this anyway or you wouldn’t have the fear in the 1st place.

Did you know that you’ve already run the movie a certain way that's why you are feeling a little scared! So back up a few paces and take control of your thoughts and play out the movie with the outcome you want to happen.

It could be that you have an important job interview coming up and you are fearful of being interviewed, put under the spotlight so to speak. Run the whole scenario through your mind from waking in the morning getting ready for the interview, traveling to the interview, entering the building where the interview will take place and even perhaps sitting in the reception area waiting to go in.

See yourself walking into the interview and notice how calm you are feeling and your concise and accurate answers to the questions the interviewer asks you. See yourself asking questions, winding up the interview and walking from the room feeling great, knowing that you gave it your best shot and how confident you feel that you will get the job.

You could even take it a step further and see yourself answering your phone with the caller letting you know the exciting news that you got the job!

Run this little exercise every morning just after you wake and every night just before you sleep. When you focus on what you do want and not on what you don’t want, what happens? Remember, whatever you focus on manifests in your life.

Fear? What fear?

comments: 0 » tags: , , , , ,
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A Different Strategy!

September 13, 2011 under Blog

“If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.”

W.L. Bateman

 

I love that quote and it always pops into my head when I am repeating the same patterns in my life and getting the same (negative) result.

 

One great thing is that my sub conscious is at work and starts waving the flag furiously to warn me. The next step of course is to actually DO something about it.

 

Do you have an area in your life that doesn’t seem to change and stays the same? i.e. separation? Sit with that for a while and see what comes up for you. It could be something small like setting the same goal and not quite reaching or it could be quite large like you end up in a job that never quite satisfy your needs.

 

Here’s are 8 tips on How to achieve a different outcome…

 

  1. Identify what it is that you would like to be different
  2. Think about how you would like it to be
  3. Work backwards and chunk it into little bite size pieces (step by step) until you get to where you are now
  4. Moving forward follow the steps everyday
  5. Visualise your outcome (what you want) for a few minutes in the morning and night. Throw it up on the big screen and run your visualization just like you are watching a movie…your movie
  6. Reach your outcome. How will you know when you get there? What will be happening around you?
  7. Celebrate and have fun with this!
  8. Repeat as often as necessary as you move through your life and into a Brighter Future!
comments: 0 » tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Bright Future Workshops

September 13, 2011 under Blog

Hi there

 

I will be starting a complimentary workshop very soon for women who’d like some support in times of separation and divorce.

 

The workshop will be for an hour and a half and the topics will vary from what to do, where to receive support, property settlement and looking towards building a Bright Future.

 

The Workshops will be interactive and of a positive nature.

 

They will be held both in Brisbane and the Gold Coast (and later by webinars).

 

I’d love some feedback from you regarding times. What time would suit you best, during the week or Saturday? What time would suit you best?

 

Look forward to hearing from you soon with your suggestions/feedback.

 

Annette

comments: 0 » tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Can Marriage drive you Mental? Separated or Divorced? Read on…

December 17, 2011 under Blog

Yes, I hear you say as someone that is either separated or divorced!

Marriage CAN and it DOES! You would be correct according to a Professor of Psychiatry in Canada!

Now I don’t want to preach to the converted here, just report what the Prof’s findings are…

Having a healthy mindset after being separated or divorced is one of the reasons I have dedicated the second part of my book to this issue. From it's title "The Separated Woman's Guide to a Bright Future" lets you know where the focus of the books points towards. It also addresses all the issues mentioned in this article.

What leads to being separated or divorced, from a psychological perspective?

The Prof is not meaning in the sense of a catch cry of (you, this relationship, the kids, it, etc,) drive me crazy” what he is saying is, if a person is pre-disposed to mental illness then it can rear it’s ugly head because of the stresses in marriage and in life in general.

Let’s face it we live in stressful times at the moment with the reported state of affairs all over the globe.

Apparently we are also less tolerant of each other too which contributes to the escalating number of people becoming separated or divorced worldwide.

Psychologically, the Prof reports it is virtual impossible for two people to live in complete harmony until death us do part, nothing new here, I'm sure we both agree with him on this point!

He goes on to say that conflict results in having differing personality types and traits, which leads to a variety of emotions which is where there can be a complete mismatch and zero tolerance.

This then leads to unhappy marriages, drug and alcohol abuse, physical illnesses and in some cases even suicide.

So we move on to being separated or divorced to relieve the stress, which, if you have separated from a long term relationship (who hasn’t?) can lead to lots MORE stress that also complicate issues of mental illness even further!

There is evidence from researchers that being separated or divorced have higher rates of mental disorders than people who are married.

Neglected children fair worse mentally among separated or divorced parents, twice as much according to the Prof.

Children that are a part of a happy family through a happily married Mum and Dad fair much better academically and socially.

So are we better off to stay single rather than risking being separated or divorced?

Not necessarily, and it appears that there is no correct answer to his question, rather that is far too complex for a clear answer.

This has to do with the “right age” to marry. For women this ranges from 18-22 years and for men 25-28 years.

“Right age” in the sense of fertility time frame for both sexes. It’s reported that after 40 women are more susceptible on the whole to psychological problems, depression in particular leading to emotional and social complications.

Men don’t escape psychologically either, masking depression and men can turn to substance abuse too.

Yes marriage can be stressful, however, if both partners are compatible in their values and personality attributes this benefits the marriage greatly as a bond is formed protecting the couple from negative psychological issues.

The flip side of this is the couple who are incompatible whether through personality incompatibility or environmental issues, The Prof concurs incompatibility can and will lead to psychological disorders.

Being single doesn’t guarantee immunity either…

Can we avoid becoming separated or divorced?

The simple answer is yes.

There are many options the safe option being, address any personality issues, learn how to increase tolerance and I hasten to add, compromise, also identify and focus on your good personality traits and continue to improve them.

The Prof then recommends that doing so will enable people to marry, so they can then live “happily ever after”!

What do you think? Is this possible or just a fairytale?

 

 

comments: 0 » tags: , ,

Discipline

September 13, 2011 under Blog

“Doing what you have to do, when you have to do it, whether you like it or not”

Annette Jones

So you have made your decision, have your list of goals and it’s now some time has passed? Are you still on track?

Are you still as passionate about having those things in your life?

Are you still as passionate about taking the action that you know you have to take daily to move towards those goals?

Many people make weight loss a goal, for example, as I did when I separated.

 

Sometimes it’s not as easy as we first thought, e.g. getting out of bed during winter at 5/6 am in the morning can put you to the test can’t it? I’m sure you have an experience where you may have given up and thought ah well there is always next time. Or for you was it just a natural progression of doing a little less every day until no action was taking place at all?

Developing self discipline is the key.

“Do what you have to do, when you have to do it, whether you like it or not”

I don’t particularly like the word “discipline” as it conjures up rules, regulations and strict time limits in my mind. I prefer the word “Freedom” which then motivates me to have “Discipline”. Let me explain…

 
We can help ourselves out when it comes to achieving a goal we want, but sometimes dislike the discipline that comes with it. Of course there is that great question “Is your Why strong enough?” But sometimes that isn’t enough…

But!
We can stack the deck…

What do I mean by that?

OK so you have made a goal of wanting to lose a dress size, loose a couple of Kg’s, body fat or whatever it is for you.

You are eating healthy foods but it’s the getting up and going for a walk or doing some form of exercise that needs the discipline.

And we all know that exercise benefits us in so many ways.

The night before decide what you will wear, leave them where you can see them when you wake up and have your socks and runners there too, together with your ipod if you like. Decide on the time you will wake and set an alarm if you have to.

Just before you drop off to sleep imagine getting out of bed as soon as you wake or the alarm wakes you, putting your clothes and runners on, plugging your ipod in, walking to the front door and opening it and then you’re off!. Do this twice more.

Do this every night for 21 nights running (pardon the pun!) and you have created a new habit!

How can you use this process in other areas of your life?

Have you done this process before and it has worked for you?

Share a comment below too, it just might help somebody else!

comments: 0 » tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Effective Communication

September 13, 2011 under Blog

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” Anthony Robbins

 

What does effective Communication mean to you?

I don't know about you but there have been times in my relationships when what I am saying (or what I THINK I am saying) isn't being understood by my partner! I'll say one thing and he will think I meant something totally unrelated! It can be frustrating sometimes!

When commuicate we do so on many levels.

There is verbal communication which only makes up 7% of the total amount in the communication pie. I was surprised when I learnt this, as being an extravert a tend to talk alot! :)

Other forms of communication include audio or hearing, tonality in our voice and of course the old favourite body lanugage or physiology.

We've all walked into a room where an argument has just taken place and there is no verbal communication taking place but you are positive that something has just happened, you can actually "feel" the tension in the room, hence the saying "You could have cut the air with a knife!" which is often heard.

When we communicate there is alot more going on than mere words. Listening, as we have discussed, is also going on, or at least you would hope it is! (Although I'd questions that if there are any kind of sport on the T.V.!) The expression on the person face, the tone of their voice the way they are sitting or standing as you can see there are many ways we communicate.

What determines our style of Effective Communication?

When we hear a statement or have questions directed at us, we filter the meaning of the words and message according to our values, or what is important to us. This is why clear effective communication works wonders. Say what you mean and mean what you say, with no room for mixed messages or assumptions.

Sometimes when we communicate with someone else we assume the other person knows we are on the same track, that they are privy to our thoughts or our meanings that we are trying to convey. This is not always the case and I am sure you can think of an instance where you have been either the giver or receiver of mixed communication.

When communicating it works wonders if you are concise, clear in your meaning with no room for confusion or ambiguity. This can be applied to all areas of your life when communicating with others, with your children, your girlfriends, work colleagues or former partner.

This is especially effective when you are negotiating and when you are separating and divorcing there are a tremedous amounts of time spent negotiating. Negotiating property and pesonal effects, visitation rights, appointments, weekend visits, rosters and no doubt you will have your own list that adds to this.

Remember that saying when you assume the other person knows what you are saying or knows what you mean then you make an ass-out of-u-and-me.

Alan Alda sums this up beautifully,

“Begin challenging your own assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won't come in.”

comments: 0 » tags: , , , ,
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